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How does one get over an affair and counter its effects? Getting over an illicit affair is to a certain extent devastating for both parties concerned and is like going through the effects of the death of a loved one. So many have been written to help the cheated spouse recover from the affair but how will the cheating spouse and his/her lover be able to get over their affair and its effects? Here are the effects of getting over an affair and how you will be able to counter them:

Depression. Initial reaction to any loss is depression. Depression may be countered by keeping yourself busy. Work can be used to counter this effect and take your mind off your lover. If you and your lover work in the same office, the best move is to get another job in another office so that you will not see him/her on a daily basis. A complete detachment is important for you to get over an affair. Over anxiety. Worry and concern for your lover should not anymore be the center of your world. Look at yourself and give yourself the attention it needs. If you get anxious or uneasy go to a spa and have your self pampered to the max to relax your nerves. Lack of sleep. Go out and get a massage. A calming massage will put you to sleep and make you forget your fears and anxieties. Anger. After going through depression and anxiety, anger is the next common reaction while getting over an affair. The usual targets of your anger are your lover (for ending the affair), your lover's spouse (for finding out about the affair) and then yourself (for getting into the affair) until the anger gradually subsides. You need to vent your anger on something and not on somebody. Go on jogging trips or workout in a gym and vent it out. By the time you are done you will be too tired to even think about your anger. Grief. The pain and the heartache will always be there but grieve you must. Let it all out. Go to a counselor or therapist or if you have friends or family who knows about your affair then cry it out on them. Let the tears flow and you will feel relieved when they dry up. Initially you will cry over anything, a flower you see along the road or a movie poster may remind you of your lover but time will come when you will be able to overcome it. Lack/Gain appetite. Some people deal with depression in different ways: others may lack appetite while some would be doing the exact opposite, eating voraciously. Whichever it is for you, the best way to counter this effect is to get somebody to accompany you either to boost you to eat or to stop you from eating more than you should.

Total detachment is the key to completely get over an affair. However, this will be a major decision to make and might consist of uprooting yourself from a lot of things. Countering the effects of the situation would be the best answer to getting over an affair and though it may take months and years before you will be able to recover, it is not the end of everything for you and it can be done.

Do you really want to be and don't know how? Check these links to be able to find out how to get over an affair and at the same time find out how you can prevent your spouse from having an affair and him/her early on.