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Trying to win your ex back after a split is hard enough. Doing it with a broken heart is downright tough - even miserable. You probably wish you could wind back the clock and change what happened between the two of you. I wish you could do that too, but unfortunately it is not possible. However, you can do the next best thing. It is possible to get yourself another chance at winning your mate back, broken heart and all.

A good way to do that is to be a little bit sneaky. I do not suggest you should be dishonest. I always say, honesty is the best policy, and that goes double for personal relationships. It is more a matter of your strategy with regard to your ex.

You must play it cool, and pretend you may not even want to get back together at all. Be calm and collected, never desperate and never beg to get him or her back. Show that you are intending to move on with your life. Go out with friends and have fun, even if it kills you!

Some folks think they should put pressure on their former lover, to take them back. Big mistake. The exact opposite is what will usually work best. By pretending to be ready to move on, you give your ex the space and time they need to sort things out. Maybe they have a broken heart as well.

Even if they do not, they will have a chance to think things over, remember the good times you had together, and perhaps regret their decision to separate. He/she may soon be willing to talk about the two of you, and perhaps try the relationship again. Wait a week or two, during which you have no contact with them at all.

Then call your ex and suggest a quick coffee or walk in the park, just to talk. Ask how they are doing. Remember to keep calm, never desperate, and no begging. Above all, do not reveal your plan to your ex, or you risk losing him or her permanently.

Do not do anything obvious, like simply stating that you are happy and having fun. You must be a little more subtle than that! Your ex knows you well by now, and will probably see right through you. Instead, use body language. Project a confident, contented image. Keep your head up, look the ex in the eye, and keep a half-smile on your lips.

People cannot help but be drawn to confident, poised persons, and your former lover is surely no exception to that rule. Do not lie, but never admit that you have a broken heart. At least not until you are back together and things are all patched up between you.

You are probably asking yourself, why do this? Why this strategy? Well, the point of all this is to maintain the balance of power between you. If you chase your ex and act desperate, this reduces your power and damages your negotiating position. Your chances of getting your ex back will be reduced accordingly.

Now if your breakup was over something relatively small (do not laugh- it happens), then you should be able to begin talking again using this approach, and maybe get right back together. If the separation was over a larger, major issue, your job will be somewhat harder. If three or four weeks have rolled on by and you are still apart, then send her flowers, or ONE email or text message.

You can be a LITTLE more aggressive at this stage, because your partner may be ready to date other people by now. You certainly do not want that to happen! Speaking of which, should YOU date other people during this period? Maybe even a friend of your former mate? This is a risky maneuver. It just might awaken a spurt of anger or jealousy (or both) in your ex, and push them to reunite with you before it is too late.

If you are officially separated from your ex, then you have every right to date whomever you please. Your ex may still take you back. But if you have actually slept with someone else, that is a different story. You might want to hold off on going that far, until you see how things work out with your ex.

When you meet for coffee, talk about the good times you had together. Tell them that you miss those moments and him/her, and you want them back. Again, do not beg or plead, or act desperate, or let on that you have a broken heart.

Use this sneaky plan wisely and with caution, and only for the purpose of getting back with your ex. Return to full, open honesty with your mate as soon as you possibly can.

Jake Rancen is a long time Web author, publisher and romantic. He toils away over a hot, sweaty pen and paper, helping troubled lovers and spouses like you answer the age-old questions, How do I fix my broken heart? How do I find my one true happily ever after?

If you need help finding yours, and if you want to try getting back with your ex, then you should start by watching this free video. It would be terrible if you lose your chance at love and happiness because you do not know what you should do next. to learn the little psychological tricks that have worked for others =>

Good luck to you, and good loving to both you and your mate!