Vase Applied Flowers Large

"The human body is unlimited in potential- it is just a matter of knowing how to access it."

~John Douillard, PhD

As the plane rises in the sky, the attendant explains, "If the oxygen mask drops down, put your own mask on first. Then you may help your children with theirs." That statement has become quite profound to me. As I am learning with my clients, we can't really help others when our own lives are too frenetic, chaotic, overburdened, or stressed.

As women, we have been taught to be "good girls" and make sure others' needs are satisfied before our own. It is a message that translates into ignoring fatigue, saying "yes" when we mean "no," keeping silent when slighted so we don't offend others, and slipping into roles that never quite fit us. Many of us feel so much guilt or anxiety when we try to break free of the dictates of our culture, that we simply find it "easier" to keep being good.

The prescriptions for healthy living abound in our women's magazines-get regular exercise, sleep eight hours, eat a well-balanced diet, maintain close relationships, drink plenty of water, think positive thoughts, find work you like...Each recommendation is perfectly valid and helpful, but without attending to our core values, needs, and desires, they seem like empty platitudes.

I have seen clients blossom when they learn to love and treat themselves well. Sometimes they make drastic changes to honor their authentic selves. Other times, it just requires enough support from outside, that they learn to recognize how to treat themselves with the same gentle care.

Creating balance in our lives is not an overnight phenomenon. We need to feel well enough in the first place to have the strength to make changes. As a health and nutritional counselor, I have experienced firsthand that we are what we eat. We need to treat our bodies with love and respect by eating whole, fresh foods and cutting down on the caffeine and sugar to start feeling healthy again. The next step, fresh air and exercise, raises our endorphins, gets our blood flowing and our heart beating. Fresh, pure water cleanses out the toxins and keeps us well hydrated. Now we can get busy on who we are and what gives us joy.

Change happens in baby steps. Maybe we buy ourselves fresh flowers one day. The next day we say "yes" to a yoga class. Day three we leave work early and get a massage. Day four may be calling a friend and delaying dinner for 20 minutes. I'm sure you get the idea. Just implement one new self-love activity per day for a week and see how you feel. You might make some notes in a journal as part of your experiment. Eventually, you will be saying "no" to someone when you feel too tired to take on one more thing. You will realize when you are feeling anxious and slow down to take a few deep breaths. The practice of listening to ourselves, hearing what we need and then acting upon it brings us into balance. The more we practice, the better life gets. Try it!