Bach Flower Set

You're falling for a guy, and you want him to see you exclusively. What's the best thing you can do?

a) call him every day to establish yourself as his girlfriend

b) send yourself flowers to make him jealous

c) continue to see other people

When you're crazy about a guy, it's tempting to call him. Resist the urge. Not calling him (or emailing or instant messaging him) offers considerable benefits. First of all, you'll come off as a challenge. That's attractive.

Trying to make a man jealous is never a good idea. It's so 7th grade, for one thing. Worse, it's self-defeating because people who become jealous easily tend to be unhappy and controlling. Try being married to that for 30 years! And, playing games is the method of insecure women. You feel too good about yourself for that. Save the money on the flowers and take yourself out for dinner and drinks with friends.

The best thing to do when you want him to see you and only you? Continue seeing other people (I'll tell you why in a minute!), but when you're with out with him, give him your full attention.

Never, ever let your eyes wander over his shoulder. Be your lovely, funny, compassionate, happy self while you're together. Then go home and let him think about you.

Until you're "exclusive," your best protection against heartbreak is to keep seeing other people. It's difficult, but it's worth it. While you're out with others, bar your favorite man from your mind. If you don't have other men on deck, keep busy with friends, families, and hobbies. There's no need to fill your favorite guy in on all your activities.

When you're not with him, it's important to keep conversations about him to an absolute minimum.

Either you're going to become "exclusive" with the man, or you aren't. Being too available too soon will pretty much ensure you don't, while keeping a busy life should make you a bit more alluring--provided the guy has some interest in you from the start.

Once again, when you do see him, фокус on him. Make it a point to really get to know him. Sometimes we fall head over heels for a person without any idea whether they're the right one for us. We all know married couples who bicker all the time, don't we?

And then there are couples who call it quits soon after they get married. Susie and Bob (not their real names) divorced 12 months after their very lavish wedding because they neglected to ask each other the simplest questions before buying an engagement ring. Turns out he wanted children immediately, and she wanted to wait three years. They'd never discussed the matter.

Asking a man the right questions is critical, and it offers two major benefits: You'll find out if he's right for you, and if he is, you'll become so much closer to him. You'll establish yourself as the one woman who really 'gets him.'

Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for free dating tips at . Check out her blog at