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You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After the first date, all you get is a peck on the cheek.

Second date, you get a mouth kiss. Third date, you hold hands. It's a very slow process.

You can't understand why it has to take so long to have sex with the woman. After all, you're buying her meals. You even splurged on some pretty flowers.

In short... you're being incredibly nice to the woman. So what's the problem? Why won't she have sex with you?

It comes down to human motivation. People behave in ways that cause them to get rewarded. They avoid behaviors that cause them punishment.

So the reason why guys often have trouble getting laid is because they reward bad behavior. A chick will lead them on and then make it clear there won't be sex that night, yet the guy rewards her by cuddling with her.

A better solution would be to punish the bad behavior by being a lot less interested in cuddling with her. Never underestimate the power of getting up from the couch and walking out the door.

Remember, to harvest the full enjoyment out of life and to have women be attracted to you, you need to be an alpha male. That means being powerful. So make sure you get treated the way you deserve to be.

Did a chick do something (like have sex with you) that deserves rewarding? Then go ahead and do something nice for her. Take her on a date to a fancy restaurant. Buy her filet mignon and Don Perignon (if you've got the money).

Does a chick just string you along, telling you nice things that she would do for you if only she didn't have a boyfriend? Then withdraw your attention, and go talk to other girls instead of her.

Frame all of your behavior towards women in terms of punishment and reward, and you'll be treated the way you deserve (or else you'll move onto another woman who WILL treat you right).

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male, a dating success guide for men. Find out more about how this guide can help you by visiting