By Flower Jerry

Metaphors are those word pictures that allow us to "get it" very quickly. If you say that your life together is like a pot of fragrant and delicious stew constantly cooking on the stove, constantly changing and transforming, you get a pretty good idea what is important. You are saying that marriage simmers, nurtures, and delights. You are offering a metaphor that will surface time and time again (if you cook). Because every time one of you makes a pot of stew, or even better when you learn to make it together, being respectful of one another's tendencies with the spices, you will be reminded of your wedding day and the promises you мейд and the dreams you had for your married life. All that from a stewpot.

At your wedding ceremony you have the opportunity to create small ritual activities, ones that make sense in your life now and that you will want to carry on for the rest of your life. Repeating an action that occurred in a ritual moment will call back all of the emotions of that moment. What small action will remind you of when you said, "I'll love you forever" to your beloved?

There are so many images for lasting love that you can use. It's better if you follow a few guidelines so that you choose images that really work for you.

The image should be pertinent to who you are. Why talk about a stewpot if your relationship is built on or at least more like extreme sports? (although I do caution against choosing a metaphor or activity that you might not always be able to do. Babies, health, careers can make demands on lives and marriages and triathlon training may not get to be the center of your life always and forever!) The image should be pertinent to where you are. If you're starting out your life on the prairie, don't choose the ocean as your metaphor. The prairie offers plenty of wide expanses for exploring! The image should be enduring. Even flowers have cycles. So build an image that includes the cycles, the fragility and the strength that lie behind the blossom. The image should be "contagious" and appealing. It should be something that people can understand quickly. The image should be comfortable. You want an image that will settle into your hearts and psyches and provide an initial glow that will renew your connection with your wedding day. The image works best if there is an activity that accompanies it. Food you eat, things you plant, water you spill out. These allow the image to settle in more deeply. The image is strengthened if it is somewhat common. If something is too exotic in your life, then your chances of encountering it are slimmer. You loose the reinforcement that common activities offer. The image should support the wedding vows you are making. You don't need to have it in the vows, but the picture the image offers helps everyone to understand why you are offering those specific promises.

Either bring your image forward from your shared life or find an image that is easily incorporated into your life. Whatever image you choose should be something you want to live with forever. Because that image does have a bigger job than simply making your wedding ceremony richer and more memorable. It's there to help you make a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Build a ceremony around it, build your wedding vows on it, and let it help you build your marriage.

Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! And now I'd like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free templates for creating the wedding ceremony of your dreams, the wedding vows of your heart and the marriage of a lifetime:

The Rev. Ann Keeler Evans - helping you move from "I do" to happily and healthily ever after!