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There are a lot of great ideas on how to make anniversaries romantic floating around out there. Today I want to draw some attention to a fun concept I call the "anniversary ladder." It's not a new concept, but it is extremely romantic and often under-utilized! The basic premise works like this:

For every year that you have been together, a day is added before your anniversary date that you do something special for your significant other. This can be a gift, a card, dinner...anything that is romantic and shows your partner that they are special to you.

For example, let's assume that you have been together for four years and your anniversary falls on October 29th. Four years together = four days of celebration, so the first day of celebration will fall on October 26th. On this day you could give a card, either store-bought or hand-made, with a clever quip or genuine message about how much your partner means to you. On the 27th, four hydrangeas (the 4th anniversary flower) or roses accompanied with another note. On the 28th, you could simply leave a hand-written note under your sweetie's driver-side windshield wiper in the morning that says how much you are looking forward to celebrating four years together. On the 29th, the actual day of your anniversary, do something creative! The symbolic gifts for the fourth year anniversary are linen or silk (traditional), appliances (modern...but be careful if you go this route!), and fruit or flowers (traditional - United Kingdom).

Whichever gift you choose, pick one with the end in mind. Give your partner something that will last a lifetime!

This concept is very neat for a few different reasons, but the one that I want to talk about is momentum. This method builds great momentum in the relationship! Every year your anniversary celebration is stretched out across multiple days, not just one (except your first anniversary, of course). It becomes a season in and of itself, not just a four or five-hour dating ritual that happens once a year. It builds genuine respect and conveys honor to both your partner and the relationship you share. And every year that season gets longer. You'll find that you both begin to anticipate it earlier. You spend more time thinking of new and creative ways to show your partner what they mean to you. It is a season of renewal. It forces you to think out of the box and give something that no amount of money can buy...the gift of you! Your creativity. Your generosity. Your romantic flair.

So go. Do something amazing this anniversary! Whether it be your first or fiftieth anniversary there is something new you can bring to the relationship this year. Good luck, and Happy Anniversary!

Tim Bates

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