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Have you ever been amazed by nature and the way plants can look so dead in winter, only to pop out gloriously with color in spring? Or have you ever looked at the frozen ground and thought that nothing could possibly be alive in it, only to see flowers pushing their heads through a short time later?

It's a paradox. For a while, everything looks dead but it's not. It's just taking a rest.

If you want to lose weight and keep it off, being able to rest is just as important as exercising, believe it or not.

Are you ever able to stop and just do nothing? Maybe not, if you're an American. It's called fare niente in Italian, and Italians are very good at it. Although they're slim because they move throughout the day, they are also masters at fare niente. Just try to disturb one when they're enjoying their espresso and watching the world go by. It will not be appreciated and they will let you know it!

If you want to lose weight, I suggest that you also learn how to relax. Why is it important to be able to just relax and do nothing? Because life nowadays is in many ways stressful, and people often turn to food when they're under tension instead of learning how to dispense with the tension in a healthy way.

Are you able to just sit without yourself without doing anything? Without reaching for the phone to call someone? Without turning on the TV or grabbing for food? Are you able to just sit with your thoughts and feelings, or do you in some way run from them?

It may sound easy to just sit with oneself without doing anything else, but if you can do it, you are among the rare few. Most people can't. They call it being bored. What they really mean is that they can't bear to sit with their own thoughts and feelings and will look for something -- anything -- to distract themselves.

TV is not a valid form of relaxation, which is why many people eat mindlessly in front of the television. They're still looking for a way to dump the tension.

You don't really relax when you're watching TV- you just become engaged in something other than yourself. Your body may not be doing a lot, but your mind is jumping from one idea to another. TV can be a distraction from uncomfortable feelings, but it doesn't get rid of the feelings. They are still there waiting for you when your show is over.

Real relaxation is being able to let go of everything and just "be," not "do." Learning a real form of relaxation allows you to feel comfortable in your own skin without having to resort to food or drink or sex in order to feel "normal."

What are some ways of reaching this state of relaxation? Meditation, yoga, tai chi, and chi kung are ways I know of that can assist you greatly, because they put you in contact with your inner self and give break from the constant chatter of the mind.

In our culture, we place a high value on thinking, but we never consider the enormous value of not thinking -- of giving yourself a break from the relentless recycling of thoughts.

If you don't believe me, do a little reading about these practices. They are beneficial far beyond simple relaxation. A daily practice gives you greater spiritual depth and builds resilience. Byproducts are that you become more aware, more mindful and more in control of yourself so that food has less of a grip on you.

If you find yourself always turning to food when you're under stress, any form of therapy that assist you in dealing with difficult feelings can also offer relief and coping skills.

Of course none of these things are really "doing nothing." When you relax, something very important is going on. (Just as something important is going on beneath the ground in winter.) You're experiencing a sense of peace, which is a precious commodity. Inner peace renews your body, your mind and your spirit and fortifies you for whatever you want to accomplish.

How do you enjoy your favorite foods and still maintain a trim figure?

Author Jill Hendrickson followed her passion to Italy to discover the to staying slim even while indulging in the best food on the planet.